I am a Third gen diabetic; my grandmother on my father’s side as well as my father were/are diabetic. What this means is I was essentially “grandfathered” into this diabetic life from the age. I can clearly remember learning to give my grandmother her insulin shots at a young age just in case she went into diabetic shock while I was spending a summer with her. You would think this lifelong training that I received would have put me in a mindset of prevention or at minimum awesometacular self-care and knowledge.
Sorry to disappoint but no.
I was constantly told by my grandmother that “you will be diabetic” in a way that felt like a curse I had to rebel against by having the biggest sweet tooth and indulging in every bad food and life style choice I could make. I carried her words with me into every indulgence and every lazy moment like fuel with that rebellious me crying the battle cry …. Ha look at me! Eating what I want and still not diabetic * Thppppppbt*.
Then my status changed …3 years after the birth of my 2nd child I got the D diagnosis. So the lies began.
1st lie : I am not that much of a diabetic. I had it in my mind since I didn’t have to take insulin or loosing limbs and sight like others in my family I had no need to worry. In my mind it wasn’t that big of a deal and I can go on with my sedentary life full of stress and other madness
2nd lie: I really don’t need my medication. Still I stuggle with this one because 99% of the time I feel “fine” not really feeling any ill effects of the bad diet and lack of exercise. So what if I can clean my house without taking a nap or my eyes get blurry every now and then. That’s and age issues and has nothing to do with diabetes …right ?
3rd lie: I can eat a little bit of (insert something detrimental here) if I double up on my meds (or actually take them) . Yassss I can play Russian roulette with my organs in the name of having some tasty treat that calls my name as I walk past it
4th lie: I get all the exercise I need at work. I cant even with this one as most of my day was spent sitting taking to folk before I lost my job. Now most of my time is spent figuring out things to do that wont involve working out while I job hunt.
I could go on but I think you kind of get my point here as diabetics we tend to lie to ourselves to justify our bad behavior, lack of knowledge and/or down right fear of this illness we have. Lets be perfectly clear put our grown up undies on …Diabetes is an illness no matter how innocuous it may seem. The end game to it when not managed right can always be death or a life in which you wish death to come and remove you from this miserable existence.
As I move through this journey goal one is to Stop Lying to myself.